my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
