I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
