First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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