I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
