i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
