Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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