the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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