is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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