Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
