Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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