You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
