you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
