Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
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