it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
