Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you win again, gameday.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
