Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
