It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
