ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
