broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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