Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
