yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
