this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
