Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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