anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
