yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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