I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
