You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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