just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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