Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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