Whats the glycemic index on semen?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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