tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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