god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
