Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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