I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
