this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
