Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
