we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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