What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
someone owes me an orgasm
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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