I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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