"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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