We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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