Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just gargled with NyQuil
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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