My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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