i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Bring me that man meat
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
