Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
