I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
