My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
