Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
