I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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