U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She even gives head with a lisp.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
