I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have aggressive nipples.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
