he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
