Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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