White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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