The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
