so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
