I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
