God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
