Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
